He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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