Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
