I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
