You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My balls are so social today.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
