im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
