ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
