Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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