I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
