Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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