is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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