cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
