It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
