i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
