Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
