barbara walters just said penis...
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
