Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Randomize
