My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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