i'm signing you up for texting rehab
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
