I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
