I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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