OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I look excited, but its just a facade.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
