The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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