I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
