He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
only you would photoshop your dick
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
