She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
