Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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