everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
