porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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