Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I met the friendliest cop last night
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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