we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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