if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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