Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We left an ass print on the piano.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
