I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
