THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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