He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
