Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
you never un-have a 4some
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
