Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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