dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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