That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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