Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
