I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
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