Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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