Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
