He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
