fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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