I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
