The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
