I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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