I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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