im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
