we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
