You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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